Buffalo Dad: So when do you feel like a Dad?

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Haaaaaa Topenga! Hannah mish hanna ma

I want to thank www.whatsgoingoninbuffalo.com ‘s very own @buffalogrl25 for this topic. She asked a great question on (https://whatsgoingoninbuffalo.com/2014/07/27/meet-buffalo-dad/) which was when did I truly feel like a Dad? She pointed out with moms, there’s generally that instant connection that only builds from the moment they know their pregnant but with dads it’s said we don’t have that same thing until we first hold our child. I went through this process twice, and, surprisingly, I noticed my feelings differed for each one. I’m wondering how many other dads may have felt the same way I did thinking back from how you feel today compared to those first days. Was it truly connection at first sight, or did it take a little time before that spark ignited?

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My wonderful wife Tia and I!

Now, I’m generally the type of person that doesn’t get excited until the day something is happening. My wife hates that about me and it could be about anything: the wedding, the honeymoon, a European vacation. It doesn’t matter. So you would think I would fall into the category that @buffalogrl25 mentioned; I feel I’m a dad as soon as I hold my baby. (Insert my favorite noise, the buzzer, here.) Wrong! That was definitely not the case for me; it was a phased-in approach!

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Baby #2

Dads, let me start off by saying this: the pregnancy process is only as fun and exciting for you as YOU make it! I know I really enjoyed growing closer to my wife and learning just how much of a miracle it is for a million things to occur in a specific order for that little guy or girl to be looking up at you on D-day. I liked reading all the parenting stuff out there and talking about our own parenting styles, what we liked and didn’t like, experiences with our own parents and others we’ve seen. They were new conversations we never really had before, so it was something fresh which fresh is usually hard to find after years together. I enjoyed holding my wife, watching her belly grow and feeling all the kicks as the baby grew. I also liked going to all my wife’s doctor’s appointments, especially the ones hearing the heart beat and seeing sonograms. We decided to find out the sex of the baby both times, so I knew what to expect and what to plan for. You’d think come delivery day I’d walk out of the delivery room holding my son like Rafiki holding Simba in the Lion King, yelling to all that could hear “THIS IS MY SON!” but not quite. Though I was happy and proud I had two healthy boys, I definitely didn’t have the same feelings instantly that I have today. I was happy it was over–excited and scared at the same time about the new challenges we would face.

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Logan and Rohan

With my first child, Rohan (pronounce rowan), I think I was just super excited about the idea of being a Dad and didn’t quite know what I was feeling. With Rohan being the only child, we were both able to devote our free time to him and only him. I was only able to take a week off when he was born, and, after that magical first week, life got hard and the name of the game was surviving and adjusting. My strategy for life became like Mohammed Ali, rope-a-doping the heck out of life, taking punch after punch but hanging in there. I think the first time I really felt like a Dad with Rohan, took almost 2 months to arrive!

I remember laying on the couch, and Rohan had just fallen asleep in the nook of my arm. My dog laying just at the end of my little guy’s feet and across my stomach. In that moment it hit me; I’m a dad! I remember just lying there looking at my kid’s face as he slept so peacefully and so comfortably (and so was Logan). It made me smile, and literally this warm feeling rushed over me making me kind of tingle. I finally felt at peace; everything made sense. The whirlwind of everything finally subsided. I remember thinking to myself this is my life now, and I was 100% cool with that. The thought of these two loving me enough, feeling safe enough to sleep on me, and of protecting them in their most vulnerable state gave me such pride and sense of purpose. He sealed the deal a week later when I went to hand him off for someone to hold, and he started crying and turned back reaching for me. It was one of the cutest, coolest moments I can remember, and I can’t tell you how awesome a feeling unconditional love is when it occurs. It was that moment Buffalo Dad was truly born.

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The day Gavin was born

With Gavin it actually took longer to form a connection. I don’t think I was mentally ready to bond until I got used to all the craziness and found some normalcy.

Unlike with Rohan, I didn’t get to hold Gavin in the delivery room. They gave him right to mom. Perhaps that’s why it seemed I bonded more quickly with Rohan. The day Gavin and I forged a connection, I had just put Rohan to bed, and Gavin was screaming downstairs in his swing. I went back down to make him a bottle and quiet him down, but nothing worked. So I used my secret lullaby music (The Foo Fighters), and sat in the rocking chair, rocking him to rock! I gave him a kiss on the head, and he let out this huffing type sigh, stopped crying, appeared to give me a hug, wrapping his arms around my neck and just stayed there for a minute. Then he perked back up and started laughing, smiling and dancing a bit. We had this very unique interaction that we’d never had before; it was the coolest thing. Then he passed out, like enough to say, “I guess you’re cool man.” Once that happened, life just felt perfect and complete.

me and my boys

Me and my boys

 

Now the boys are one and three, and both have their super unique and totally opposite personalities. It’s the coolest thing to watch. It’s hard to believe there was a time I didn’t feel as connected to these monsters! But both the kids know that Dad’s for rough-necking, Mom’s for cuddling, and both are for loving. I can’t even remember how life felt before being a dad!

So what about you? Was it love at first sight and an instant connection? Did it take some time until it just clicked? I’d love to hear your stories, so–as always–leave a comment here or on twitter! Make sure you Follow @buffalodad716 and remember being a dad isn’t just something you do, it’s who you are!

 

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9 Comments on “Buffalo Dad: So when do you feel like a Dad?”

  1. spanishlanguageinchandigarh August 1, 2014 at 4:58 pm #

    http://aiflcblog.wordpress.com really i like your beautiful blog.

  2. buffalogrl25 September 9, 2014 at 9:40 pm #

    This was so great! I don’t know how I missed it when it was posted! Really beautiful and honest. Just awesome. Thanks for sharing such private memories with us.

    • jsinsabaugh September 9, 2014 at 9:41 pm #

      Thanks buffalogrl!

      • buffalogrl25 September 9, 2014 at 9:42 pm #

        You’re welcome! Sharing this now!

      • jsinsabaugh September 9, 2014 at 9:43 pm #

        Awesome! My 1 year old is just starting to walk. There will be a new post about this 🙂

      • buffalogrl25 September 9, 2014 at 10:06 pm #

        Oh my gosh, how exciting! Haha. Good luck! Can’t wait to read it! 🙂

  3. bullpoop04 January 17, 2015 at 5:48 pm #

    jason-this was really great to read. I have always known you love your boys unconditionally, but to read it out like this was wonderful. Love this blog!

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